The Flame on the Rose
by Phedre Serenity Rosamund
Summary: Ayano is growing up, changing, and becoming a woman far greater than Kazuma could have ever imagined. She's coming to terms with her past, when all she's ever done is lock it away within the recesses of her mind. But with knowledge comes power, and the two almost love-birds are thrown into an adventure to contend with. Just their style.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Flame on the Rose **_

_Chapter 1_

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All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~ Anatole France

* * *

Ayano drifted among the crowd, barely noticed as the citizens carried on with their boring, normal and almost bleak existences. That's what she loved though, about crowd surfing; the feel of being a part of their normal everyday lives. Just seeing the people, the emotions they gave off and so many lives intertwined in the simplest, most basic way possible.

It gave her a new hope, a new belief in man's world that maybe one day they'd wake up and see how beautiful they are together, unified. That's why she fought off demons and whatever else may come that was a threat to humanity. She couldn't let this beautiful yet ugly world die, because they had yet to find their beauty, they had yet to realize they literally had the whole world at their feet. Or maybe, that's what they had realized and had taken advantage of. The fact that they had the whole world at their feet, the fact that they could take advantage of the universes gifts to mankind that made them build skyscrapers and murder trees.

Ducking back into a little café she seated herself at a window table, taking check of the citizens dining in it and the auras that radiated the flame of humanity. What she wouldn't give—

"Don't go there, Ayano." She muttered to herself, tearing at a napkin as she waited patiently for the waitress to flounce her floozy self over and take her order. She had a guess that it would be a while, seeing as said floozy of a waitress was showing off her assets to the married man seated in her section. Ayano rolled her eyes. Hey, so she might love the world and humanity but she didn't have to like everyone.

Cinnamon eyes regarded the girl from his standpoint across the road. A smirk crawled across his lips when he saw the red haired beauty shoot a look of annoyance at the waitress; lucky for the waitress Ayano didn't call her out on her whorish deeds. Obviously, harpy was having a good day; which was an anomaly within itself because the princess always had something to complain about.

"Kazuma…" She let the name slide off her lips when she caught the familiar cinnamon colored gaze. Eyes narrowed, Ayano stood abruptly. The chair she had been seated on fell to the floor with an abrupt clutter that set most eyes in the café on her. But really, she didn't care because that son of a bitch was going to die.

When he realized he was spotted, Kazuma gave her an intended devilish smirk and swaggered across the street when traffic was light. Ayano met him at the sidewalk.

"What the _hell_! You're _stalking_ me now?"

His lips twitched, "hardly, oh loud-ass-one." Ayano made a face at him and spun on her hell, walking in the direction of the apartment she had rented. Waving, she called back to him "Nice chat, Kazuma, but I've got to split. I'm piled with paperwork!"

So there he was, Kazuma Yagami, in the middle of a crowd that seemed almost tranquil even with the ferocious noises of the city, speechless. Because Ayano Kannagi wasn't at all what she used to be… she seemed, mature. His brow furrowed with thought, could she have… matured?

"Ha, like that's even possible. She probably just got back from the spa or something, and the calming effects just haven't worn off as of yet." But even that didn't seem right. Running a hand quickly through his hair he ignored the pickup of the wind and prickly feeling at his neck and walked back to his own apartment; not really thinking about the red haired beauty until he was in bed. And only then, because there seemed to be a terrible wind storm raging outside.

Which… just wasn't normal.

Ayano ran the brush against her shining red hair again and again and again. There wasn't much thought in the gesture, her eyes were glazed over in thought and even though her hair glossed underneath the artificial light of her bathroom, she didn't take any notice.

After she had gotten home, she did the stack of paper work the Kannagi clan had piled on her; it was just a list of assignments she was going to work on for the next two weeks. None of them were all that hard but she just had to fill out the paper work, like what weapons she would need, if she needed the extra precaution of backup, whatever. Then she got to thinking about Kazuma, which led her to the relationship that had sort of not yet had existed between them. He had taught her so much and… she had loved him. Still did if she were honest with herself, and if she wasn't honest with herself than who was else was she supposed to be honest with, so she was honest with herself.

"Shit…" The word passed through her lips and she let out a groan, fishing into her pockets for some money. She found the equivalent of fifty cents and slipped it into her swear jar.

That's what was wrong with love, it left you vulnerable and oh so open to emotions that could kill you from the inside out. Her mother had known that, Kazuma must have known that, and now she was learning it just as well. Yet, for some reason her heart wasn't taking note of what her brain was trying to message and decided to _still_ have feelings for the wind wielder. Ridiculous, her mind tried again to war with her heart; you _can't_ have feelings for him.

Her heart begged to differ.

So there she sat, brushing her hair to the point of radiance in front of her bathroom mirror when she heard the most peculiar noise. Mm, maybe that's not the right choice of wording. The sound wasn't peculiar, it was _alarming_. It made her hair rise and body tense. Scenarios and escape plans, definitely defensive plans raced hurriedly through her mind and yet even now her heart decided to part take in the panicking and told her that she'd feel a lot safer if Kazuma were with her. Footsteps echoed in her kitchen.

Fuck you heart, Ayano cried mentally when she had the chance between making escape plans and trying to locate the closest hidden gun in her medium sized apartment; which, as lady luck would have it, was located in the bathroom. Quietly, she opened the cupboard and trailed her hand along the back of it. A loose edge of the wall paper flipped when her hands ran over it, smiling gratefully she tugged and the paper peeled off. Working quickly she made do with the lock and jerked open the safe.

The steps left her kitchen and walked into her living room, she heard a deep voice rumble with what she imagined to be laughter and the ching-a-ling of change filled the air.

Her breathing came a little faster as her hand met with the solid, cool feeling of the gun. She pulled her hand back and sighed with relief as the heavy machine brought her back to her senses. If this was a regular, human man then he'd run fleeing for his life after a few warning shots. If this was a demon, Enraiha would be meeting his acquaintance.

Ayano took one deep, calming breath before creaking the door open just enough for her to slip through. Looking over her shoulder and down the hallway that led to both living room and kitchen she saw and heard nothing. So, quietly she crept till she met the corner.

"Ayano, it's been so long."

The voice boomed in her head and she felt nauseous, dizzy. Where had she heard that voice? That cruel voice, the riotous laughter, the boisterous smile looming down at her as she just barely made it out through her blanking vision.

She stepped out into her living room and looked at the man sitting on the couch with a courage quickly dwindling as he ravaged her body with his eyes. Slowly, his eyes crawled back up until it rested on her face.

"K-Kakeru."

He smiled.

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**So it's a shorty! Haha, I hoped you guys liked it for what it's worth. Rate it! Urgh... hate my landlord**


	2. Chapter 2

_**The Flame on the Rose**_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Trust Fall**_

_One thing you can't hide— is when you're crippled inside. -John Lennon_

"So you haven't forgotten me." His words sent a shiver crawling up her spine and a dawning horror began to crest. The pads of his fingers caressed his lips in a move she had seen when he contemplated torturing her. "I'm delighted." He drawled out, and then he gestured to the chair across from him.

Scary movies, they weren't scary. They were alarming, yes, but nothing could prepare a girl for this. Ayano took the seat, but only because her legs could barely hold her up. Slowly she sunk into the chair; her eyes hadn't left his face. No, nothing could've possibly prepared her for the visit of Kakeru Fintan.

"Why are you here?" Her voice quivered and she hated it. She hated what he had reduced her to. She had been working on becoming independent, patient, calculating, she was learning how to enjoy life and still live up to her duty as the princess of the Kannagi's. Yet here she was, a girl again. Why was he allowed to do that to her? Why was he allowed to hurt her, sweep her off her feet in the worst possible way? It shouldn't be his right, he shouldn't be allowed. But, he was.

That just went to show the world was really not fair.

"You know, it's still not normal to see you like this. So weak." He grinned maliciously, running his hands along the table top. He picked up her swear jar and chuckled, amused with her childish antics. "When I knew you, I was the weak one. You were a mighty Immortal. You were the Eternal Rose; the Eternal Flame. You didn't give me any choice in the matter when you turned me into an Immortal, or any choice when you left me for dead. But an Immortal truly never dies. We were both reborn, how queer that the roles have been reversed, it's as if this was meant to be." He lost expression, leaping off the couch in one graceful movement belonging more to a leopard than a man.

"You can't be here." She would kill herself before she let him touch her.

He circled his prey, not in the least caught off guard when the room became hotter than any desert. No human would be able to live in such conditions. It was simply too hot; he laughed. "You are still so weak, barely in tune with your birthright."

Ayano stifled a scream when she felt him grab a fistful of her bounteous scarlet hair. She knew what he was saying, she had heard it before. She closed her eyes to keep from feeling the moist trail he left from jaw to collar bone. But even in her mind, he still plagued her. His black hair long, electric green eyes enjoying the torture he bestowed upon her with each thrust, the lean body. Even she couldn't deny the fact that he was handsome. But the truth was Kakeru Fintan was evil; pure evil.

"I can't believe I created you." He voice was stronger, and she found a courage only created when consuming vast amounts of alcohol. Liquid courage, she called it. Apparently she wouldn't need any of it at the moment. A heat flared, in a place one could only describe as the soul. "You are the scum of the Universe. How does it feel that your own kind has abandoned you?" She spit in his face.

He backhanded her, and only received a hyena's laugh for his troubles. "You whore, why don't you just shut your damn mouth? I liked it better when you were cowering. In fact, I've always liked it better when you were cowering… beneath me."

"Oh, Kakeru; you claim me to be so weak. Your right, I haven't come into my birthright though. But you better watch your ass when I do, because I'm coming for you. I will kill you." She pronounced each word to directly hit him.

He grabbed her upper arms and threw her on the floor. Ayano grinned, maddened by his arrival. Crazy by the abuse and memories she was reliving. "Give me your best, Kakeru Fintan. I own you, don't you ever forget that. I created you; I am the reason why you live." He didn't like that, and she shouldn't have goaded him on. But what could she say? She was insane.

The rip of her shirt didn't affect her; her eyes still sparkled with insanity and an unhealthy dose of amusement. He saw red; she was supposed to be scared of him by this point! So he made her scared, he tore off the rest of her clothes until she was lying underneath him in only her undergarments.

Truth was she was terrified. Simply terrified, because she knew what came after this. It had happened before, again… and again… and again. So many times, and it hadn't stopped. "You are evil."

"I'm only liven' babe." He grinned, his incisors growing and sharpening; and so the abuse started. To distract herself from the pain where he bit into her flesh, Ayano busied herself with figuring out his words. Liven'… oh, right… evil spelled backwards was live.

"I bet you love me too then." She had never been so bold before, especially when he had his fangs out and her clothes off. His electric green eyes met hers and the world grew smaller, because he was enraged and she was currently at his mercy. "Evol..." He ignored her point and summoned a tool she hadn't been acquainted with in a while; the whip. "You are so disobedient, Ayano. Or should I call you Rosethia; maybe even Mummy, seeing as you made me and all."

That courage… gee, was it not failing her. She wished her mouth would close and she would just take the punishment quietly and quickly, but no. She had to go and open her big mouth, "You know this is our first reunion after a while. I was thinking more along the lines of tea and biscuits… raping, whipping, whatever else later? You're so unoriginal." She mock pouted, he pulled his arm back and it came back down. The sound of the whip cutting the air and smacking against her skin, ripping her skin open in one smooth lunge filled a quite rage that would boil and fester until everything became too much. She closed her eyes and waited for that time.

The pain was blinding, she was morbidly counting the lashes. Currently she was at fourteen, and while black dotted her vision she was still fighting the unconscious bliss that sat just in her clutches. _It_ always happened when she was unconscious.

"Gosh, that looks god awful. Let me go get the salt… you know, just to make sure of no infection."

Ayano felt her body tense, and bit her lip until it bled while the pain past. He wouldn't… would he really sprinkle salt on the open, deep wounds—

She fell unconscious as the salt sprinkled on the deep, gaping wounds that neatly lined his pale canvas. Then, all hell broke loose.

"_Kazuma…?" Her voice sounded young and frightened. _

_He was there, in front of her wearing reading glasses and clearly pondering quite hard over some paper work. "Kazuma!" She cried at him from her position in front of his desk. He looked up, and those familiar cinnamon eyes warmed. She reached out for him, yet they seemed miles apart. _

"_Come to me Ayano, let me help you." His voice faded, the blackness faded._

"Holy hell!" She rolled, just dodging a patch of ceiling that had seemed to just feel like free falling from the sky for no apparent reason. A scream tore through her when the pain broke through her senses; quickly she jumped up on shaky knees. She remembered it all now. But… she didn't quite remember how her apartment complex got set on fire.

Kakeru was nowhere to be seen. "Rat bastard… ah, I should really get out of here." The smoke and dust started to get to her and she realized she was now in the proper clearing to safely reach the door. So she did, she tore out of her apartment on shaky legs that reminded her more of Jell-O than any appendages that could belong to her.

The wind was fierce and she realized she was outside, naked besides her underwear. Oh, how very cruel the world was. The wind took on the job as a ferocious whip and made the sting of her wounds become that much fiercer. The closest place she could crash, she thought as she already ran in the direction, was Kazuma's.

A frown marred her face; this could only go so well.

Ayano remembered the dream though; she would take it as a sign. He cared about her, he would want to help. Somehow she made it to his apartment building, up to floor, and to his door without a single person catching her… well besides the security cameras. But that was quickly fixed with the flick of her wrist, melting them.

Quickly she knocked on his door, feeling fatigue and pains just wear her down. She felt like drowning, dying… anything to get out of her own skin; out of her own body.

"Ayano… you're not dressed." His facial expression flickered between a deep concern and an almost anger. He didn't understand what was happening out here on his door step, but he knew something bad had happened to her… and she had come to him for help.

She gave him a tired smile; her lids drifting close as the comforting warm from his home drifted out and wrapped her up in its embrace. She gave in, willingly, to the darkness surrounding the edges of her vision; free falling and expecting the warm cloud to cushion her fall.

Kazuma caught her, hurriedly slamming the door shut behind him and carefully set her on his bed. When he pulled away his eyes made a quick assessment of the deep red substance coating his hands and swore, turning her gently onto her stomach he felt an urge to vomit. He had never seen something like that. It was… horrible.

And they said scary movies were bad, no… those were just alarming. Scary was having the girl you mentored, the girl you kinda loved knock on your door half naked and 'worse for wear' not even beginning to describe her. Scared was what he was when he found the blood coating his hands. Terrified was what he was now.

He sprinted into the bathroom and wetted a washcloth with warm water. He crawled onto the bed and worked diligently for half the night on cleaning her wounds. Finally he fell asleep; casting a ward of defense around them. Just in case.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Basically story time. We learn of Kakeru's past with Ayano... but not all of it. Kakeru is one sick pup. Ah, yes. Thank you everyone for reviewing! I suck at updating quickly, but I shall work on it. Um, Kakeru is my character. **

**Oh, and the characters might seem a little... not like themselves but it'll get better as they grow stronger together. After all they were seperate for quiet a time and are going to have to relearn one another. Yay! So bare with me friends! OH, and _mentions of rape_. **

_**The Rose**_

_Chapter 3_

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"_Why is there ever this perverse cruelty in humankind, that makes us hurt most those we love best?"  
_― Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel's Chosen

"_It is a fine line, in all of us, between civilization and savagery. To any who think they would never cross it, I can only say, if you have never known what it is to be utterly betrayed and abandoned, you cannot know how close it is."  
_― Jacqueline Carey

"_The pain of the flesh is naught to that of the heart"  
_― Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel's Chosen

"_Even a stunted tree reaches for sunlight."_  
― Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel's Scion

* * *

The sun was blinding and the ceiling was blank. The swirls were interesting enough. The technique the painter used was a sloping swirly type of movement. Oh, look… a butterfly. Blink. Blink. What time was it? Better question, where was she?

Ayano turned her head to the side, disrupting the pillow beside her head sending a waif of a spicy yet clean smell into the air. "Oh." She knew that smell. To prove her new assumption correct she sat up, or… tried to. She didn't get very far before she was gasping on the bed in pain. But she'd caught a tiny glimpse of something other than the ceiling; ace bandages and some type of cream were laid out at the foot of the bed, along with masking tape.

Masking tape?

Ace bandages?

Oh.

The answer to her confusion: Kakeru, that rat bastard. Her body ached in response to the name and she remembered the nightmare real life had become again.

"Hm. You're awake." His voice was calm and unsurprised, like she showed up at his apartment bloody bruised and—yikes—naked all the time.

"Uhm… yeah, so it would seem."

Kazuma hesitated sitting beside her for a moment before overcoming the barrier between them. He placed the breakfast tray he'd brought for her on the dresser beside the bed. Ayano raised a brow, "You made me breakfast…?"

"What, were you going to make it yourself?" At her silence he smirked, "Thought not. Speaking of your incapacitated state, mind explaining why you showed up at my apartment naked and bleeding?"

Ayano tried to look away from him, but he grabbed her chin and softly up turned her face to look at him. "I'm sorry for sounding a little hostile… but Ayano, this doesn't happen every day."

She scoffed. "Obviously. Anyway, I was just… not expecting the opponent." Kazuma gazed down at her with familiar cinnamon eyes, watching his distant cousin with annoyance. "That's an understatement Ayano, and we both know it."

"So what if it is?"

"You're avoiding the question."

They were at a standstill. Had it been wrong to go to Kazuma for help? No, but was she wishing he wasn't such a nosy little bastard? Why yes, she was. "When I was a little girl… there was a man, a fire user who said he wished to learn from the Kannagi. My father allowed him to stay with us, you'd already left by this time so you wouldn't have known him. So he lived with us Kannagi's. No one really paid much attention to him, he didn't alarm anyone and my mother adored him. He often baby sat me when my parents decided to go on dates 'renewing their love' they called it. He was very condescending and I hated him."

"You're still avoiding the—

She fisted the blanket fiercely, her breathing ragged. "Just… _listen_ Kazuma."

The wind-user raised his brows and nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"He'd never done anything really bad before, not to me. He'd touch me in passing, a brush of the hand or something that could be considered accidental. But one night, he was babysitting me." Her eyes glassed over and her eyebrows furrowed, showing a troubled and traumatized expression. "He told me it was time for bed. So I went to bed. Nothing happened, until I fell asleep. I'm a terribly light sleeper, even then. My door opened, a beam of light fell across my face and I woke up. I thought it was my parents checking in on me so I tried drifting off to sleep again."

Ayano closed her eyes, remembering the first night Kakeru had become the monster of her nightmares. "I heard a zipper… and rustling. Clothes were being taken off. I remember opening my eyes, but then the door shut. It was so dark. The bed dipped from added weight and the covers came off of me. I was petrified. Then he lay beside me, pulled my hair and grabbed my wrist."

She rubbed her left wrist.

"He pulled me closer. I was only eight, I didn't understand everything but I got the gist. Don't let people touch your private parts; don't touch other's private parts. If a grown man climbs into your bed naked, something's wrong. I understood, but I couldn't move. He wrapped his arms around me and he just stayed like that for two hours. I had been shaking and silently crying. I didn't want to make him angry."

Kazuma sat on the bed, like stone, like he himself were petrified. Her voice was slightly childlike, and shaking. Her back hurt, her body hurt. She could remember every single time; every word, every breath, every scream, every single scar that marred her body. Then the silence that told her she was alone, and that it was okay to cry again, and again, and again. She swallowed over the lump in her throat and just breathed for a minute.

He took her smaller hand in his own and just held it because he didn't know what else to do. What could he do? While he was kicked out of the Klan because of the woman in front of him, he could only feel mild anger towards her. He couldn't imagine the things that she'd gone through. He couldn't imagine anyone being so _sick._ While he was falling in love, eight year old Ayano had been… he couldn't even think it.

Finally she started again.

"I'm damaged, Kazuma. Beyond repair. I can reknit myself together, again and again but the scars are always going to be there. Do you understand the things I had to get through, mentally and emotionally? It took me awhile but finally I could focus. When you met me, I was angry at him. So angry. But I'd coped with the fact that I was better than him, that by letting what had happened overtake my life was allowing him to win. I had two best friends and a protective dad. Then I had a mentor, a friend, a protector, and someone to love instead of hate." She closed her eyes briefly.

Kazuma turned his head away from her so she wouldn't see the 'unmanly' tears collecting at his eyes. He shouldn't cry in front of her. Why couldn't he have understood all of this from the beginning? But, he supposed he wasn't the first one to not understand Ayano Kannagi.

"He—I was raped at ten but he whipped me the first time when my mother told me to stay with him while she and my father went on a business trip. His friend healed me every time, so that Kakeru was never caught. It was horrible… I was only eight."

She cleared her throat, stretching as much as she could without irritating the wounds on her back and the ache in her body. She ached everywhere; she could imagine there were many bruises. "So it took three years before anyone found out. I was ten, he'd raped me already and he'd repeated three times each month. My mother was the one to find out. She burned him and he laughed, told her how- how _good_ I was."

She covered her mouth to muffle the dry sobs. "He ran after that. He told her that I was his now, that he'd marked me. He wasn't lying; he had marked me as his. It was no lie. I begged my mother not to tell anyone; she didn't hear me. She was looking at the floor. I cried and begged, over and over. My father was dealing with my cousins again. Thank god, I don't know what I'd do if he'd found out."

He jerked his gaze back at her. "Your father doesn't know?"

"Finally my mom agreed, nodding her head slowly as if she was the one who'd been abused. I didn't try to imagine how she'd been feeling, hearing her daughter had been… anyway. She never told a soul."

"Don't ignore my question Ayano!" He felt like shaking her, but he couldn't because she was broken at the moment.

"When you came back I bet they told you she'd died. She did. But it wasn't from a freak accident. She poisoned herself, and then went for a drive. It was ruled as a car accident, seeing as she did in fact die at the wheel. They had never found any trace of poison in the autopsy done. But she'd left me a note. She was such a pitiful woman." Her voice turned sour at the end.

Kazuma had been told that, but he hadn't really cared. It'd been sad, yes. But he hadn't found the woman particularly bright in the first place. She had been very frivolous. He remembered thinking that, ah but that didn't matter anymore. "Your father doesn't know."

Ayano nodded in agreement.

He didn't say anything for a long moment.

Neither did she.

Outside his window birds sang and people yelled and swore. Traffic was heavy. A picture of his blond love flashed across his mind's eye and he knew if he gave himself up to his feelings for Ayano completely… their love would transcend anything he'd ever felt before.

Ayano was thinking about the fact that she'd almost deserved three years of traumatizing torture for what she'd done to Kakeru in the past. But the innocent child Ayano hadn't deserved it. The child hadn't deserved it but the awakened woman did. She deserved it. No. Yes. Maybe. Was it even a question? Yes. Kakeru had been out of control. Yes.

"It's time to change your bandages. Then we'll swing by the hospital." He brought the ace bandages and the masking tape he'd grabbed quickly last night, along with the anitseptic closer. "Careful. This will hurt." He'd been able to heal the wounds so they'd scab over. The charm he'd used was good enough to allow her to rest on her back for twenty four hours without intense pain but that would soon wear off. when she turned on her stomach he could see spots of bloody bleeding through the white wife-beater he'd thrown on her last night.

Ayano bit her lip, but didn't cry out. Sure it hurt, but the physical scars were nothing compared to the emotional. Just when she thought she had it all put together...

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Review...? Pwees...?


	4. Chapter 4

_**The Flame on the Rose**_

_**Chapter 4**_

_** Sorrow Burns, Innocence Smothers**_

_**I'm sorry for being gone for so long... not that you've been holding your breath for this chapter or something but anyway, I just wanted to say that life... has been hectic to say the least. I've been an emotional mess and in no way fit to write a half decent story like I'm trying to do with this one. **_

_**Aww, you guys are awesome! You people wanna know what Ayano did to Kakeru to deserve the torture he brought down on her as a child? Hm. I may be able to make that happen… maybe. Don't hold your breath though! **_

_**Before you only saw the seriously evil side of Kakeru, now I'm going to try and give you more angles to this mysterious womanizing rapist pedophilia man. And hey, shout out to my reviewers! **_

_**Kendrix D. Brandon**_

_**Kazenostigmafan4ever**_

_**B**__**ridgette Barrymore**_

_**Jessikabalcazar96**_

_**MisticMoonStar1 **_

_**Hotakugirl1996**_

_**FireDragonPrincess**_

_**Alexkitkat**_

_**Kyracurr2**_

_**Princess-oro**_

_**valeryGyllenhaal**_

_**Booklover2526**_

_**I've been going through some stuff lately and hadn't even logged onto Fanfiction for about four months. This chapter has been done up and down and I'm still not entirely content with it, but for the moment it's the best it can be. Seeing all the comments, the encouragement all there just waiting for me… well, admittedly it mad me feel guilty that I haven't updated in forever but other than that… it made me feel like I had some semblance of purpose. So… yeah, thankyou all. **_

_**Cheers!**_

_**All paths are present, always… and we can but choose among them**_

_**-Jacqueline Carey**_

_**Yes my lord, but questions are dangerous, for they have answers**_

_**-Jacqueline Carey**_

_**Oh love and hate are two sides of the same blade**_

_**-Jacqueline Carey**_

* * *

Kakeru smirked at the ladies gossiping and watching him with hazy, lust filled eyes. The music was low and thumping, slow and sexy. Uncharacteristically he wasn't taking advantage of his setting; he hadn't seduced any woman tonight. He knew he could, but it was so easy… too easy. His abs glistened from sweat and oil he'd rubbed into his muscles, his black hair was long and gleaming. Kakeru passed a gyrating couple and smiled at the girl, immediately her attention was drawn.

Yes, Kakeru was finding his repetitive night life quiet dull. He thought of himself as a predator, and now the food seemed to be presented to him on a silver platter. There was no game in it, no pleasure, it was like a task, there was no _challenge_ in it anymore.

"You look familiar, have I met you before?"

The god smiled slowly, brushing black bangs back. "I don't believe we have, I would have remembered a beautiful face like yours." Inwardly he rolled his eyes; _that was a pathetic response_. It was painstakingly obvious to him that he was off his game. Green eyes took inventory of the brunette vying for his fact that she approached him first was just furthur proof that this was becoming a chore.

The brunette smiled brightly, "My name's Kerry Luis." She held out a simply manicured hand.

"Kakeru." He wrapped her hand in his much bigger one, a wide smile stretched across his face; it wasn't entirely fake either. While he found seducing tedious, there was still a touch of excitement in playing with his food.

Kerry Luis tugged her new partner onto the dance floor. She loved to dance, lived for dance. It took her away from the complicated life she lived. Her baby daddy was in jail, and her two month old child, Breda, had colic. Kerry had been a stupid, stupid girl getting so drunk at Steven's party. But, she was sixteen and high on life not to mention highly naïve. She hadn't known what she was getting herself into. Eleven months later Steven was in jail and her beautiful baby girl turned into a demon's spawn at night.

But now, this stunning guy who had to only be a couple years older than her was dancing quiet intimately with her in the back of the gyrating dance floor and she couldn't be bothered with life as he kissed her. Kerry Luis found herself thoroughly entranced.

Kakeru nosed her neck, feeling the thump of the pulse point located there. "So precious…" He murmured. He could feel her humanity in his hands, like silly putty it was there for the prodding. He smiled into her neck; placed small kisses up her jaw… placed a kiss behind her ear. "Follow me." He ordered.

Kerry Luis smiled brightly, the very definition of naïve as her dark angel led her into the back rooms. Kakeru glanced back at her and smirked, opened the door directly to his left. Kerry Luis gasped at the turquoise bedecked room. "It's beautiful!"

"Yeah…" He sighed, watching the pretty brunette slowly sit down on the bed. "What brings you to the seedy part of town?"

He watched her blue-blue eyes widen with alarm and her brows furrow. Oh, how adorable she was. "W-what do you mean?"

"Kerry Luis, you have 'innocent' written all over you; the typical high school girl tease. So tell me," He leaned into her, making her lay out underneath him. "What brings you here?" His hands moved up towards her midriff, tracing out unimportant patterns. "Did you want excitement… the excitement or the danger… of not knowing… what… could happen?" His lips ghosted over her own with each word whispered against her lips.

Kerry Luis shivered, eyes drifting closed. Kakeru continued to talk, enticing her with his voice. Kisses were trailed down her neck; he placed an open mouthed kiss on her collar bone. "Tell me Kerry Luis… tell me what you want… tell me…" He kissed her deeply.

And Kerry Luis fell for it all; hook, line and sinker. "I want… you!" She hurriedly shrieked. Kakeru went in for the final swoop.

* * *

"What the hell is _this_, Kakeru?!" A blond haired bombshell dropped the newspaper onto the coffee table with a sudden slap.

Lazily he set his book down and drew his feet from the table, peering over to eye the screaming headline. "It seems a series of murders are happening at clubs along the West Coast. Targeting young women it looks like." He stretched his feet over the table again and grabbed his book, restarting the paragraph he'd been on.

"The fuck! Kakeru, I know it's you." She gracefully teetered closer in her six inch heels. "And I swear, if we get caught because of _you_… so help me…"

"Sheila, shut up." The book closed, startling her into silence. "They can't trace it back to me. They don't even know cause of death, all they know is that some psycho is leaving a trail of lifeless woman behind them."

Sheila threw her hands up in the air. "It's almost like you don't care! They are going to start catching on; you know how things are these days. They only give the half-assed truth to the public. They probably already have the PID on our trail, and you know how those bitches are… they're like fucking blood hounds."

The PID being the Paranormal Investigation Department was the equivalent of the FBI and PD put together. They were secretive; the top dogs and common enough.

"We're fine. I'll go wipe our trail clean right now if it would make you feel any better."

Sheila crossed her arms. "It would."

Kakeru took off his reading glasses and put them to the side, throwing his thick book onto the table alongside them. "Then I suppose I'll go do that."

Stiffly, the blond watched her mysterious lover walk out of the house; black hair trailing down his back in shiny waves and an unhurried expression on his face. She would never understand him, no matter how much she loved him, but wished to high heaven she could. Yet, maybe she didn't.

Her hand traveled up to the bite marks still healing on her throat, she loved him. But no, if given the choice to know every single thought that ran through that man's mind… she wouldn't take it, not ever. Because Kakeru was simply put, a mystery better left unsolved.

"_Rosethia!" The agonized scream tore from his throat as the knife came down again. "Don't! Please! Stop!" The knife pierced his right lung, he felt it. "Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me…" He moaned over and over. Blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth. _

_He watched the scarlet haired goddess, her eyes a shadowed black, no longer that beautiful cinnamon color. He'd loved her; he had done the one thing he had sworn to never do. He fell in love with the Fire goddess who was betrothed to the Sky god. None of that mattered now, not his unrequited love, not their impending marriage. Rosethia's twin brother, Marr, god of War had set destruction on the land of Fire. Marr had killed their parents, leaving Rosethia Queen of the Fire realm and now she was under her twin's control. _

_Helpless, he tried to tune out the fact that her arms were raising again high above her head, getting ready to plummet down the dagger and pierce flesh and vital organs. Already he felt his would-be fatal wounds knitting back together. Kakeru's eyes fluttered shut, for once he wished his Fire love had not turned him into an Immortal._

_Black tears fell from her soulless eyes. "Save me…." Kakeru couldn't help think how selfish she sounded, but then the dagger pierced him again and all he could think about was dying._

Kakeru awoke abruptly, but silently; eyes staring up at the blank ceiling, the individual black dots, and the mold in the corner. He laid there in that bed that had housed a thousand and one inhabitants, pillowing their bodies throughout the night, whether they evil or good. Inanimate objects didn't have opinions. Sometimes Kakeru wished he didn't have opinions. Sometimes he wished he couldn't feel. Most days he got his wish, one of the few lucky ones, he supposed.

Hair spilled unceremoniously around his head like individual serpents writhed in knots when he reached for his cell phone sitting on the bedside table.

_4 missed calls_

Originally Kakeru had loved the modern world. When technology, vehicle transportation, machines came about that ran on fossil fuels he'd been just as intrigued, as marveled as the rest of the world. He'd gone to his fair share of conventions back in the days, to sit and watch them market off the latest craft. But now he was trapped like he hadn't been ever before. There was technology everywhere, and his cell phone was his most constant companion and most dire enemy. It connected him to the rest of the world.

Thinking on this he hesitantly allowed his thumb to press lightly against the 2. The phone dialed, dialed again before it was picked up.

"You've done it, erased the tracks?" The sweet, sultry voice asked.

Kakeru brushed away his previous musings, turning his face into the musty pillow and smirking. "I've done more than cover our tracks Sheila."

He could hear the hesitancy in her breath, the way she mulled over his statement. What did he mean, she was thinking, by that? What did he do? Sometimes he loved that part of humanity in her, other times he wished she wasn't just some erotic demigod, a damn _half breed_. But who was he to belittle her, the one made by the Damned Queen of Fire herself? He was made, not born to this _curse_. That too was up for debate though, eternity. Sometimes it was convenient; that wasn't very often.

"I-I trust you Kakeru."

He smiled. "There are more dependable things to put your trust in, darling." Then he hung up.

Outside, the night reigned in New York. The Big Apple was home to a… friend of sorts, which was why he was there. Kakeru swung his long legs off the bed, pulling on his boots and lacing them up. He stood tall, black hair swinging down his back to touch below his butt. He caught his reflection in the mirror and couldn't help the well of admiration. Oh, but he was a vain creature; and proud of it. But in all seriousness, what wasn't there to admire, to love?

He was tall, his black pants hung loose around narrow hips. His arms were muscled, but it was an appreciatively wiry muscle definition. His face was long and narrow, sharp angles and shadows; the forehead high, eyelashes generous and his eyes a luminescent green. Rosethia herself had described him as temptation personified. One thousand years later, two thousand beautiful woman later… yet still the one he loathed, the one he hated more than anything in the world was the one he loved more than anything. He could still hear her girlish screams echoing.

Kakeru turned from the mirror and threw on his black velvet duster. With final thoughts on his destination and a snap of his fingers, he was gone from the room in a flash of red fire.

Only to reappear in front of a lovely apartment complex that towered high and was the very state of technology advancements with its dark reflecting glass. He walked through the door and past the reception area, using the elevator he arrived on the fifth floor relatively quick.

His colleague's apartment was the only one on the fifth floor, and he walked right in without knocking. If he were human, that would've been a problem.

"Kakeru… I've been awaiting you." The voice was deep, smoldering. On the senses it was velvet, and sweet smoke that tickled your senses, a swirling sensuous dark chocolate.

A smirk twirked at his lips, "I'm sorry to have kept you."

"It's of no mind. You smell like an outhouse, where were you?" The man came into the front room, a devious smile at his lips. It always was.

"A cheap motel."

The man smiled, his beautifully stark white hair shining under the lights. He moved closer, and Kakeru found his eyes closing, a heady feeling taking over that he never could explain. He allowed his companion to stand behind him, slip off his jacket.

The man hung Kakeru's jacket in the closet. "But… Kakeru…" He turned around, coal dark eyes twinkling. He stepped up into the ebony haired man's vicinity, dragging a hand up Kakeru's chest. "You could have stayed here." He leaned forward and roughly grabbed his long dark hair in fists, bringing his face forward and capturing his lips in a dominating, rough kiss.

Kakeru allowed it. But after he was allowed to back up, he smirked. "You know, Marr it just didn't seem right to take advantage of your… hospitality…" He pressed a hand to his sharp cheek bones, green eyes blazing. He'd been waiting for this for so long. "After I told you I ruined your sister."

Marr took one look at Kakeru and gave a barking laugh. Then he quickly sobered. "You know, Kakeru, I don't think you know the game you're playing." His head tilted, nearly childishly if not for the air of intense cold sophistication that constantly domineered his presence. "It's a shame. I hate when my toys start to think for themselves, its usually when they make the worst messes…" He watched Kakeru for a few more minutes before turning away.

"But for now, come visit with me. I'd love to hear what you've been up to lately. It has been fifty years after all."

* * *

_**A/N: So, I'm sorry if it sucked. I'm not sure if I'm happy with this chapter too much or not, and I won't know if I am or not until I finish the next chapter so… For you my loves! **_

_**Haha, anyway I hope you liked it. I gave a taste of why Kakeru has such an intense hatred for Ayano. Oh, and I'm sorry for those who don't like the fact that there was no Ayano and Kazuma. Maybe next chapter Kazuma will spill the beans…? What will happen between those two? **_

_**I don't know. **_

_**Well, I do sort of. But I'm trying to build suspense here. **_

_**Here's a hint… I see… tequila in their future. ;) Haha. **_

_**Confessions…. Confessions… **_

_**But in need inspiration dear ones! And you're the only ones who can provide it. Tell me what you feel, what you wish. What do you think of the characters, am I setting the tone right? **_

_**What do you think of Kakeru? **_

_**He's seriously damaged in the head and I'm starting to delve into that with this chapter. And Marr… ooh, Ayano's big bro. Do I see a storm brewing on the horizon for our love-birds? Indeed. I do. **_

_**Sorry for the long note, but I love you guys! And I thank you so much for telling me what you think, and feel about my story. (I personally feel like this story should be rated 'M'. What about you guys?) **_

_**So maybe we can keep it up…? **_

_**Hey, I'll update faster. Give me ideas! I often don't know how they should react or where I should go with the story for them. Am I being too corny? Seriously, it's like the story's writing itself… it's just popping out of nowhere. **_

_**I hope you psychedelic peeps like it **__** (I really like the word psychedelic… my word of the week) **_

_**Anywhoo, I got to jam it. It's like… eleven at night. Hehe. **_

_**Review, dearies… please? **_

_**~ Phedre Serenity Rosamund**_


	5. Chapter 5

Many things could be said about Ayano. But could was in love truly one of them? And if it was, then that made her slightly angry. Because that meant that all this time she' d been in love with a man who had only shown her mild interest. And that had to make her a bit pathetic. Right?

But forget the fact that she loved him! If indeed she did love him- and that was still up for debate- what about him? Could he love her? She had issues. Serious issues, issues up the fucking wazoo. For one, what if he touched her and she flipped out and he… left? Ayano rolled onto her side.

What if she gave him everything, and he left her?

How did someone survive that heart break…?

"Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." Ayano was a solitary creature by choice. She lived in an apartment all alone, with tenants who liked to live all alone, and conversed through letters. _She was solitary_. A lone wolf who had a pack but basically said, fuck all of you bastards! And went off on her own path. But still talked to the pack through distant howls. If that didn't spell out _I don't know what the fuck I'm doing right now_, loud and clear she didn't know what would.

"I'm a hermit. How do you… get involved with a hermit…"

"Um, Ayano?" Kazuma stood behind the couch bent over at the waist to hover above her. His eyebrows creased, and he seemed about to check her temperature.

Gah! "Ah, Kazuma you're awake. I was thinking you could drop me off at my house right now." Play it cool, she repeated silently as she stared into his eyes, be cool. You are independent, you are a Kannagi, you are… fucked. You are so, so incredibly fucked. Because she knew she in love with him. Had more than admitted it to herself the first day they saw each other again.

But she had a problem.

And it started and began with herself.

He reached out to brush her hair, or something, but she quickly rolled off the couch into a crouch and stood. "Yeah, my house. I just want to see what's… left ya know. Salvage my belongings and whatnot." Kazuma pursed his lips, watching as she winced from agitating her wounds.

"Are you sure…?" And in the back of his mind something was whispering: _grab her, tell her you'll go, make sure she rests. Protect her, love her, she's your mate. Fucking protect her no matter what she says. Protect her from herself. Protect, protect, protect_. But his more base instincts would have to cower under the pressure of Ayano's sheer stubbornness for a little while longer.

The air was tense, terse, standing on the precept of something grand. The air was charged with a black past, a weighted poisonous secret told. But what did they do now? He knew. He had to regain her trust. Her admiration. Be a rock she could lean on truly, be worthy of her love like he actually never ever in his life had been worthy of before. And it began with a secret. One black past, a weighted poisonous secret to be told.

But like any good story, it had to be told at the proper moment. And now was not the time. For now, they would dance around it all. His lips quirked into a smirk as she clumsily knocked into the coffee table in her rush to act in control.

He loved her.

Kazuma took three long strides to the closet where he retrieved two jackets. "Fine, we'll go. And we'll talk to the people you have to talk to. But then we're bringing your stuff here, we're going shopping, and then we're going to have fun tonight."

He handed her the light fleece. Ayano schooled her face to appear faintly bemused, but her voice betrayed her excitement. "Fun…?" He grinned, his brown hair limply falling into his eyes. "Yeah Ayano, fun."

- Four hours later…

Ayano frowned. "I still don't understand."

He dragged a hand down his face."Why does this of all fucking things really matter." His hand dropped. "No, why of all fucking things is this so hard for you to wrap your mind around?"

She opened her mouth to tell him that he could shove his callous attitude up his ass, but decided against it. So she sat beside him, hands resting placidly on her thighs. They had just hailed the taxi that would take them to the mall from the doctors office. But one of Kazuma's past, uhm, sins had sprang out of the woodwork when they were in the waiting room. "You slept with-

"A lot of doctors-

"And nurses, and lab technicians and-

"I was grieving!"

Ayano frowned. "Is that really your excuse?"

Kazuma stopped his words from leaving his mouth to actually ponder that question. Was it an excuse? Perhaps. Well, yes in some aspects no in others. Tsui Ling had actually been his first serious love and her death had left something gaping in his heart. It still did. Even now he was rather in love with her. It was an odd feeling. A thankful type of love, something kind. She was the one to re-teach him how to be kind, and forgiving, and made him remember what sensitive was. And her death would be one he would never forget, that when he looked back on would still wound him. And he would never take his time with her for granted. His eyes caught the searching, amused stare of Ayano. She taught him that Ayano shouldn't be taken for granted, if that made any sense at all.

"Define excuse…"

Rolling her eyes she let that specific road lie unfinished. "When exactly did all this sleeping around happen?"

He stole a look out the window. "Around the time I came back all those years ago, actually."

Ayano nodded. "Ah, I see."

It was silent.

Kazuma was reminded of his 'quest' of the night. Secrets. What was the biggest secret of his life? It would never measure up to Ayano's, not ever. But did it matter. Would she see his tale was his own tragedy, understand that he only wished to show her the darkest part of him? The most broken? She already knew about Tsui Ling, had been jealous of Tsui Ling, and had accepted her existence. And he was sure he would have to do the same for past boyfriends of hers. Unless…

He narrowed his eyes.

"Say… Ayano."

She spared him a raised brow and questioning stare. "What?"

He licked his lip. "Um, while we're on the subject of past histories…"

Ah. Ayano nodded, looked up at the felt ceiling of the car as if berating the powers above. "Any boyfriends is what you're wondering? Some lurid affair with a married man, maybe?" She shook her head with a laugh. "Sorry, but no. I have a very hard time with… touches, in general."

He mentally winced, right. He was such a fucking dunce. "I understand."

She nodded, "What are we doing tonight?"

"Its a surprise." His eyes glimmered. "But let's play a game."

Ayano smirked. "Is this where the fun begins?"

"Kind of, but what if I asked you… if I asked you for example, if you might like dancing?"

Playing along, Ayano seriously thought about it. "I would say I haven't gone seriously dancing since high school. I'm sure I'd embarrass you."

Kazuma rolled his eyes. "Nonsense, I'm sure you'd catch on quickly."

If she thought of childishly mocking him, who was to know? "Yeah, whatever. I think you're laying it on a little thick."

He waved a hand around. "So what if I am?"

So what if he was? "I don't know, what exactly would that mean?"

His tongue grew heavy._ I love you, I'll never leave you. Allow me to be with you forever. Be mine forever._ "I… it would mean…" He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was about to just… so unromantically… "Ayano, I'm so deeply in love with you it hurts."

They were in a taxi, she thought faintly. And he was proclaiming his undying love for her. And it was single handedly the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to her. "Your love for me… hurts?"

He smiled, and slowly laced their fingers together because it would be sacrilege not to be touching her in some way in this moment. "It does. Its so strong, overwhelming, I don't know its... kind of like tsunami. Just very-

"Destructive?"

He sent her a small glare. "I was going to say powerful."

She nodded sagely. "Right, right."

There was a lull in the very poignant air where their recuperation was palpable. "Ayano?"

She seemed to jump back into the present day when he spoke."Oh, yes?" Ayano closed her eyes, oh they were off to a fantastic start. Why was she so painfully awkward?

Kazuma's lips quirked up in a fond smile. "You don't have to say anything back, I just wanted you to know."

She rolled her eyes. "Well when you say it like that…"

"I'm not trying to force you into anything!"

"I know, I didn't say that."

"Your tone implied it." Kazuma reasoned.

Ayano groaned beneath her breath. "I'm sure it did Kazuma."

"You're so fucking annoying." He mock glared down at her.

She smiled. "But you love me."

His glare broke, and his eyes searched her face before he nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I really fucking do."

She smiled wider. "You love me so much it hurts."

He nodded again.

Ayano glanced out the window, because this moment was going to be ingrained in her memory. The smell of the old taxi, the sound of the engine running, the scene of Tokyo passing by. And his finger stroking her hand. Just that small little touch, that she was okay with. More than okay with, that she wanted more of. She would remember it all, look back on it fondly. Over and over.

I love you. "And I love you too."

I love you.

Kazuma's eyes felt heavy for a moment and his heart so _full_ with joy he swore it stopped for a moment. And Ayano watched the largest smile, the most peaceful look cross the love of her life's face. And it was so beautiful.

Perfect.

So beautiful, so perfect, so full of love it fucking hurt.

So many things have happened, and I feel more comfortable writing with the experience that I've gained. It probably sounds stupid. I know. But I feel so much more in touch with the characters themselves. So I'm back. And I just dished you the sappiest love scene I've ever written in my life. Your welcome ;) I hope it somewhat makes up for my… disappearance. I do this often I realize. So I'm going to go back and revise previous chapters, because it hurts me to read them ahaha. So… what did you think? Too much? Just right?... should I go back into hiding...


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